Sticky Notes of Thoughts

…because some thoughts are worth remembering

On Finding Wisdom in the Oddest Places: Confidence

GozoHarbor

I surprised myself when I clicked on an article with Mindy Kaling’s name in my Facebook feed, but quickly regretted it because it went to a Glamour magazine site. I’m glad I started skimming, because several statements caught my eye, and then I started really reading it. In this article, Kaling formally responds to a question asked by a fan which she didn’t feel she addressed properly, “Where do you get your confidence? Because I feel like I used to have it when I was younger but now I don’t.”

Here are my takeaways:

  • Kaling’s observation in understanding the subtext of the question (if the question was truncated to the first part only, and was asked by a white male, the subtext could be that she seems to have something she shouldn’t/is not expected to have based on who she is/appears to be).
  • Entitlement doesn’t have to be a bad thing only. It is a feeling you get that you deserve something, or you deserve to be there. If you really deserve it, entitlement gives you confidence, and that’s a good thing.
  • You can’t just cruise to get better. It takes hard work. Working a lot leads to getting better and having confidence, and that leads to the productive kind of entitlement.
  • Kaling learned the above lessons at a young age from her mother who took away a superficial award she received from a basketball camp (just so everyone gets a trophy). Her mother hid the trophy Kaling proudly displayed, and explained it’s because she “didn’t deserve it” and she “should know the difference”. What a wise mother!
  • Exuding confidence = beautiful
  • Her summary:

Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled. Listen to no one except the two smartest and kindest adults you know, and that doesn’t always mean your parents. If you do that, you will be fine.

It goes to show that sometimes it’s more important to keep your eyes and mind open for lessons to gain knowledge and better ourselves.

Photo: A harbor on Gozo island, Malta

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This entry was posted on September 1, 2015 by in Culture, Gender, Quotes and tagged , , , , .
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