Sticky Notes of Thoughts

…because some thoughts are worth remembering

On Becoming “More So”


My mother-in-law describes an aspect of being older, “becoming more so”.

Indeed, we become more whatever we have been. Say, if in your core, you are a sassy person, you seem to become more so as you get older, because the filter we put on ourselves as not to offend anyone, or to fit in, or to respond appropriately to what is expected of us, weather away. I’ve heard many say “when you get to be my age, you just don’t care anymore” about how they might appear to other people. Whatever your essence was that may have been masked by social decorum, it bursts onto the surface.

In short, we become more so.

It’s handy term. Our family uses it a lot: “Well, let’s just say, he’s become… more so.” Sometimes, one of us will say something in a very typical way, like be laboring the veracity of a factual point that is irrelevant to the story line, her response is a sigh, simply followed by “more so” to signal the rest of us that we’ve fallen into that familiar pattern of extended conversation whose center cannot hold.

I am fortunate to have a mother-in-law whose essence seems to be kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness. So let me add to the list of “what you learn in your 40s“, ask if you will be happy with yourself “becoming more so”. Is it too late to change? I’m not sure, but I’m going to live each day with purpose to ensure my core is in tact before I become “more so”.


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This entry was posted on March 4, 2015 by in Biography, Culture, Identity and tagged , , .
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